This is very short.  And very pointless.  But I felt like writing it anyway. :D As we all know, Sailormoon and the senshi are owned by Takeuchi Naoko and many frightening companies, so don't anyone sue me or nothin'. ^^;
 
 

“Isn’t Tokyo lovely, Claris?” Sean said, draping one arm around the smaller girl’s shoulder.  Claris’s father had business in the city, and since it was summer, he had decided to bring the family along (with Sean tagging along in a particularly large suitcase).  The two were currently wandering around aimlessly, in search of excitement, adventure, or possibly just a place to eat that did not serve meals whose main course still had a face.

“I-it is a ni-nice city,” she said quietly.  “Do you h-have a-any idea as to wh-where we are, though?  I h-haven’t s-seen a si-single st-street marker yet…”

“Actually, I’m not sure we’re even in Tokyo anymore,” Sean said cheerfully.  “But it’s still beautiful, isn’t it?”

“Egh,” Claris bit her lip.  Sean strode along, continuing,

“Yes…cherry blossoms, the scent of fresh seafood, Japanese schoolgirls fighting monsters in short skirts…”

Claris did a double-take.

“Huh?”

“Right over there,” Sean said, pointing.  Claris followed his line of vision, blinking at what she saw.  Five Japanese girls (several of whom did not look Japanese at all) were battling a rather large creature, crying out attack names in anguished English as they did so.  One of them raised a scepter and called,

“Mahree Suu Ahnnihirashon!”

Energy burst forth from the scepter, destroying the screaming monster in a matter of moments.

“M-Mary S-sue?” Claris blinked again and started towards the girls. “U-um…hello?”

The one with the scepter answered in perfect English,
“Oh, hello!  Are you an American exchange student, too?”

“N…no,” Claris said.  “Are y-you?”

“Why yes,” she smiled. “I’m Sailormarysue.  These are the Sailor Senshi.”

The four girls standing behind Mary Sue waved.

“I thought Sailormoon was the le-leader of the s-senshi,” Claris said, briefly wondering where Sean had disappeared.

“Not anymore.  Once I showed up, everyone realized how much more competent I was to be the leader,” Mary Sue said.

“Hai!” said Sailormars. “Mary Sue-sama is not only beautiful and responsible, but also far more intelligent than Usagi-chan ever was!”

“Why, she’s even smarter than me,” Sailormercury said.

“I thought I told you never to utter that dumpling-head’s name in my presence,” Mary Sue snapped.

“Gomen ne, Mary Sue-sama,” Sailormars bowed her head.

“I don’t even need the help of Tuxedo Kamen!  Though of course Mamo-kun loves only me now,” she said triumphantly.

“Th-that’s the most a-awful thi-thing I’ve ever heard,” Claris whispered, backing away.

“Why?  I’m far better than that twit.  I’m smarter than Ami, prettier than Minako, and stronger than Makoto.  I have more spiritual energy in my left toe than Rei has in her whole body! I play the violin  and paint better than Michiru, I’m a better driver than Haruka, and my grades are higher than both of theirs put together!  I’m wiser than Setsuna, and my wardrobe is cooler than Hotaru’s.  Not to mention I play a mean pinball,” Mary Sue grinned.

“H-how terrible,” Claris said, gripping the fabric of her shirt.  She jumped slightly when she felt something made of metal form in her hand.

“Wh-what is this?” she said, holding the pen up. “I…I have the s-sudden urge to cr-cry out…Fallacy Power!”

“What?!” Mary Sue watched Claris transform, taken aback.

“O-oh my,” Claris blinked, glancing down at her short-skirted uniform.

“Who are you?” Mary Sue said, brandishing the scepter.

“I…I’m…I’m S-sailorclaris!  A-and in the name of h-human we-weakness, I’ll punish you!” she cried out, her heart pounding rapidly.  What was she saying?

“We will not allow you to harm Mary Sue-sama!” the other four senshi said mechanically, surging forth.

“Relax girls,” Mary Sue said.  “I can handle this one…heh…you?  Punish me?”

Mary Sue dived at Claris, slamming her midsection with the long, heavy scepter.  The wind knocked out of her, Claris gasped and fell, clutching at her stomach.

“F..Fallacious Exploitation!” she coughed, raising her hands.  A blinding light enveloped Mary Sue, bringing her to her knees, but only for the briefest moment.

“Hah!  My only weakness listed is pride, silly girl!” she lifted the scepter. “And as we all know, pride alone cannot bring about a person’s downfall!”

“Says you,” a deep, male voice intoned.  Everyone turned to see Sean, standing on a lamppost and wearing a cloak and tuxedo collar along with his usual blank pants (though still shirtless, much to Claris’s embarrassment).  He tossed a jar of bubbling liquid at Mary sue, and it shattered on the ground, splattering her face.

“Augh!  Homemade sulfuric acid!” she screamed, tearing at her rapidly dissolving face.  Sean laughed maniacally, jumping down next to Claris and helping her to her feet.

“Nice skirt,” he whistled, as Mary Sue continued to scream in the background.

“D-don’t you th-think you sh-should do s-something about her?” Claris said.

“Eh, she’ll be dead in a few minutes, anyway.  See, the spell’s already starting to lift,” Sean replied.  Sure enough, the four senshi were beginning to wander away, rubbing their heads in confusion as they did so.

“Where’s Usagi-chan?” Venus mumbled. “We have to tell her about this strange day.”

“Let’s check the Crown,” Jupiter said, detransforming.

“Good idea!” the others chimed, dashing off.

“See?” Sean smiled. “Our work here is done.”

Claris’s outfit changed back into her normal shirt and shorts.  She glanced at the bubbling puddle of Mary Sue before her and turned away.

“Se-sean,” she said, as the two began to walk back to the hotel.

“Yes, muffin?”

“Let’s n-never d-do th-that again, okay?”

“Yes, muffin.”

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